Melbourne, July 23 (The Conversation) When we hear the term "ghosting," it's often in the context of dating. But what happens when someone you've known for years—like a childhood best friend, parent, or child—suddenly disappears from your life? These unexplained absences can be more perplexing and painful to overcome.
Surprisingly, this phenomenon is more common than one might think. One study indicated that 38.6% of people have experienced ghosting from a friend.
So, why do individuals ghost those closest to them? What impacts does it have on those left to pick up the pieces? How can one start the healing process?
What is Ghosting?
Ghosting involves someone either abruptly or gradually severing all communication without offering any explanation. Whether the person is a friend, family member, or romantic partner, the signs are similar: left-on-read messages and ignored calls. In some cases, you might even be blocked.
Ghosting isn’t confined to the online realm; it can occur in person too—someone may deliberately ignore you, avoid eye contact, refuse conversation, or act as if you're invisible. Unlike relationships that naturally drift apart or end with confrontation, ghosting is a one-sided withdrawal lacking closure.
For those abandoned, it can feel akin to experiencing grief.
Why Do People Ghost Family and Friends?
Just like with romantic relationships, people ghost friends for similar reasons. Ghosting is more commonplace and seen as more acceptable in brief or casual relationships. People may ghost because they've lost interest or prefer avoiding confrontation, as it feels easier than the discomfort of ending things directly.
In long-term relationships, the reasons can be rooted in incompatibility, shifting priorities, growing physical distance, or gradually drifting apart over time.
Life events such as becoming a parent, starting a new job, moving home, or experiencing a divorce can act as catalysts to streamline one’s social circle.
Sometimes ghosting is motivated by self-preservation or safety concerns, notably where family members are involved.
It may be a response to toxic or abusive dynamics, especially when past attempts to resolve issues were met with hostility. Here, ghosting is less an avoidance tactic and more of a protective measure for someone’s mental and emotional well-being.
Research has also associated ghosting with particular personality traits—people who ghost tend to have higher scores in narcissism (inclination toward entitlement and lacking empathy) and borderline traits (difficulty managing emotions and impulsivity).
Why Does It Hurt So Much?
Although some ghosters believe they are sparing the other person rejection pain, this is rarely the outcome. Being ghosted by someone you’ve formed a close bond with can lead to feelings of grief similar to losing a loved one. Following the initial shock, anger and sadness often arise.
The concept of "ambiguous loss" also comes into play—this lack of clarity can essentially freeze the grieving process, making it especially challenging to move forward.
Beyond grief, being ghosted often triggers self-blame, intrusive thoughts, feelings of worthlessness, and trust issues, complicating future relationships.
How to Cope if You’ve Been Ghosted
There’s no straightforward remedy, and you cannot force communication with someone who’s chosen silence. Yet research suggests several strategies to help ease the burden:
- Acknowledge your emotions. Grief-like feelings are a normal response to ghosting. Embrace and express them healthily rather than suppressing, as holding in feelings correlates with depression, low self-esteem, and decreased well-being.
- Seek social support. Connecting with friends, family, or a mental health professional can mitigate loneliness and feelings of low self-worth. Social backing is linked to several mental health benefits and can foster post-traumatic growth—positive psychological change following adversity.
- Choose self-compassion over rumination. While the urge to revisit what went wrong is understandable, dwelling on it prolongs distress and hinders progress. Instead, treat yourself as you would a good friend, with kindness and care. Practices like exercise, mindfulness, and spending time in nature support psychological well-being, reducing rumination, anxiety, and depression.
- Create your own closure. Ghosting leaves you in a limbo of uncertainty. Waiting for answers only stalls recovery. Writing a letter you don’t send can provide closure by clarifying thoughts and feelings and is associated with numerous psychological advantages.
(The Conversation)
(Only the headline of this report may have been reworked by Editorji; the rest of the content is auto-generated from a syndicated feed.)
