Shikhar Dhawan opens up in powerful memoir

Swashbuckling former opening batsman Shikhar Dhawan has come out with his memoir in which he bares it all - from his relationships to friendships, to all the controversies surrounding him, be it off or on the field.

"Cricket gave me purpose, but it was the journey with the highs, the falls and the quiet moments, that truly shaped me as a man I am today. This is me sharing that journey from the heart - raw, honest and unfiltered," Dhawan said about his book "The One: Cricket, My Life and More".

"Written with candour and sincerity, 'The One' offers an unprecedented glimpse into Shikhar Dhawan's inner monologue and all the vulnerabilities that have shaped him into the champion cricketer and sensitive human being he is today," publishers HarperCollins India said.

According to Sachin Sharma, publisher at HarperCollins India, "Shikhar Dhawan has lived an incredible life both on and off the field. In this unputdownable memoir, Shikhar has opened up about his life, cricket, relationships, and every curveball that he faced and emerged stronger." Growing up in the intensely competitive cricketing scene of Delhi, Dhawan started out as a wicketkeeper but later transitioned to an opening batsman. He played 34 Tests for India scoring 2315 runs, 167 ODIs (6793 runs) and 68 T20 matches (1759 runs).

"When I was trying to break into the Indian side, social media was still nascent and cricketers were under a lot less scrutiny. But other media platforms - print and broadcast - were thriving," he writes in the book.

"Team selections and individual cricket performances were discussed threadbare and had gained sufficient audience in the country. However, unlike the current times in which social media can transform cricketers from 'hero' to 'zero' almost overnight, narratives took a lot longer to change back in those days," he says.

Talking about his entry into the Indian dressing room, he said when Australia came to India for a short tour in October 2010, "that's when I received my long-awaited call to join the big boys".

Dhawan also writes that when he first saw Mahendra Singh Dhoni, "I wanted to cast him in a Bollywood movie; he looked like a film star with that long hair and easy smile".

He added: "We were having a chat about my motivation when I suddenly blurted out, 'I want to play for India and I want to make you a Bollywood hero!' He threw back his head and laughed." Though he was chosen for the three ODIs, the first and third matches in Kochi and Margao were washed out.

"Before the first match in Kochi, there was so much nervous energy bubbling inside me that I could not sleep the whole night… But when I got up in the morning, it was raining heavily, and all my hopes turned to nought. No action was possible that day," Dhawan writes.

"Then, just ahead of the second ODI at Vizag, I took a sleeping pill to soothe my nerves. I thought it was important to sleep well, and I was worried that my performance would suffer if I went through another round of insomnia as I had done on the eve of the first match," he recalls.

India won the toss and invited Australia to field. Dhawan's debut game had begun.

The Aussies batted first and scored 289. Dhawan opened the batting with Murali Vijay. But in the very first over, he was bowled for a duck off the second ball by Clint McKay.

"I walked off from the crease with a smile pasted on my face, but inside, I was kicking myself hard. I had visualized myself playing dazzling shots and piling up a huge amount of runs for India for so long that I found it difficult to wrap the reality around my head," he writes.