Editorji Exclusive: Here’s how to steer the conversation about death & grief with your children

The death of a loved one is never easy news to process. Whether we are dealing with adults or children, the pain and grief cannot be substantiated based on age. However, unlike adults, children are yet to learn about the concept of loss and absorb the ramifications of the same.

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Perhaps this is why it is more complicated for parents to talk to children about death and grief. However, there are ways that you can ease the conversation without sabotaging the truth.

Take it slowly

Children need to understand the concept of death. Therefore, take a step-by-step approach to explaining how the situation works. It is important that parents also pause while speaking to their child, allowing the child the time to understand the situation.

Do not shield your child from the truth

For children, understanding that they might never see the people they are with is not easy. However, it is important that they understand the point of no return that comes with death. Tell them the truth, answer whatever questions they might have, and ensure that they are very clear about the passing of a loved one.

Do not engage in euphemisms

Instead of telling them directly, engaging in death euphemisms might confuse the child. As a replacement for saying, “your loved one has gone to a special place”, empathetically say, “we have sad news but your loved one has died”. Answer questions they might have.

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Keep your emotions in check

It is difficult to be the bearer of bad news, especially if they were your loved ones as well. Watching their parents accept death and deal with it slowly will help the child accept the passing of their loved ones as well. However, it is also all right to be vulnerable and display sadness in front of your child as that will help her be more empathetic and understand her emotions well.

Death is a course of life and ensuring that your child understands it in a healthy way is the best way to teach them about the concept of loss.

(Inputs by Dr Malini Saba is the founder & Chairman, Saba Group. She is also a Psychologist, Self-made businesswoman, Single Mother, Human & Social rights activist and a global advocate for women & girls.)